Golden Opportunities

One of my friends recently tried to introduce one of her single girl friends to a great mutual guy friend of mine. The girl's first question about the potential suitor was, "Does he love Jesus like I do?" When my friend told me about this I was shocked, disappointed and frankly a bit angry. Unfortunately, questions like that and the mindset behind them are part of the reason my non-Christian friends don't want to go to church. They are part of the reason I don't want to go to church!

I'll probably not get the chance to ask this girl what she meant by her question but I have a few thoughts and responses. If she wanted to know if he was comfortable in a Charismatic setting or even wanted to know what his spiritual/faith background was she should have asked that. But loving Jesus has nothing to do with your expression of worship at church on Sunday morning. Love for Jesus isn't made up of the right ratio of hand clapping, tambourine shaking or flag waving. Loving Jesus is about loving people.

Just a quick side note about love. Love doesn't accept, tolerate or ignore sin. Love accepts people, though. True love brings repentance and that's what we should be after. The perfect, untainted love of God for humanity is what pulls at us and brings about a change of heart and action. Let's try to love people that way and show them our life as an example. Just love people.

How have we lost sight of what it means to be Christ like in our love? Jesus was a people person! He met people. He met everyone and anyone. In today's terms, he met druggie prostitutes, pot head hipsters, flamboyant homosexuals and those terrible people who work for the IRS. He loved them, talked to them and didn't ask for a set of prerequisites before relating to them. You know which people He liked least of all? The guys He met in church.

I want to encourage you to step back and think about all the people in your circles of influence - work, home, church, the gym etc. Think of those people as opportunities. Think of the next conversation you have with each one of those people as an opportunity to love.

Have you ever seen a gold mine? It's not pretty in there. It's dirty. It's super dangerous. It's cold and wet and dark and small and probably scary and lonely. But guess what? IT IS WORTH IT. Being in that mine, in the dark and the cold and the dirt, is worth it because you will pull out the gold if you stay in there long enough and dig deep enough.

Jesus was really good at drawing the gold out of people. He was excellent at seeing the heart and potential of each person. He sees it in you. He sees it in me. I want to be like that! I want to see the gold in people and I want to use every opportunity I have to draw that gold out. We shouldn't be SO concerned with the harvest that we forget to plant seeds. Just be a friend. Buy a beer for the guy next to you at the bar and ask him his story. Don't insulate yourself out of fear. Be the influencer. Invest in people. Love people. Drink and eat and laugh with people.

My mom is an incredible woman. She and I were recently talking about this exact thing (which inspired this post). She is really gifted in drawing the gold out of people. Her advice on dating is this: stop. Focus instead on relational networking. Meeting people for the purpose of knowing them is a good enough reason to spend time with someone! We don't have to put pressures and expectations on people! Meet people, get to know them and let it all grow into what it's meant to be. Draw the gold out of everyone you meet, not just the cute, tall, smart, athletic ones. ;) 2014 is going to be a year of open doors, especially relational ones. Keep a smile on that beautiful/handsome face and be ready when new people come knocking!

P.S. Before publishing this post I had my good friend Cara read through it. This was her comment:

"I was a bit taken aback by your first paragraph, because to me that is a normal, and perfectly legit, question to ask regarding someone that I may, conceivably, be getting into a serious relationship with. I don’t care about the stupid religious details, of course, but a guy’s love for Jesus is my first criteria for getting into a romantic relationship with him. It will determine whether we have a long-term future. And I believe that that is Biblical (that whole “do not be yoked with an unbeliever” thing in 2 Cor. 6:14)."

Cara, I fully agree that for the purposes of romantic, committed relationships, people should share faith values. For the purposes of this post, however, my point is don't shut the door on anyone just because they don't share your faith. Your influence could adjust their viewpoint and change their heart. Maybe you'll lead him to a belief in and relationship with God, fall in love and get married! But you'll never get to that point if you're not willing to pull the gold out of the dirt first. Remember: focus on relational networking because knowing people is an intrinsic good.