I cried.

For those of you who do not know - I am a worshiper. Worship is the most valuable expression of my heart to God. It is the most eloquent love language. I love to listen to music and sing my heart out, bringing glory and honor to God. "Holy, Holy, Holy." That's about the most amazing thing you can sing. Joining with the angels and magnifying the Creator. Incredible. I've recently been thinking about where that passion came from - why do I love worship? What is it about singing to God and about His love that brings me peace, joy and strength? I think it all started when I was a kid.

I remember living in Bolivia at the young age of 8 or 9. It was an incredible, life-altering experience and I miss the people and the country. My parents were asked to help another American couple (whom I adore) start a church down there, so we packed up and moved! We got a cat. We lived in a two story house with terrible mint-green tiles and a courtyard with barbed wire and broken shards of glass along the 10 feet concrete walls. Our shower had an electric casing that would heat the water in the shower-head and electrify you if you touched it while wet. My sister (3 at the time) cut the ear of our cat. We played with LEGOS and drank chocolate milk from a plastic bag. It was awesome. All of it. Bolivia changed me for the better in many ways.

My parents are just about the most talented people I know. One of the things my parents helped do for the church was translate songs we sang in America into Spanish. My dad taught himself to play keys. My mom choreographed dances and skits that would help bring the Gospel to homeless people. We would make huge pots of soup or stew, set up tables near a train stop, feed the homeless and share the love and truth of Jesus with people. I was eight.

You need to go to Agua Viva de la Roca. That church is amazing. The Glory dwells there. I remember going to practice with my parents and having to watch my little sister run around. We would bundle up during the cold months because the building had open space between the roof and the top of the walls - it had to stay cool in the summer or people would have melted! We would roll ourselves up in blankets and lay on the creaky wooden benches that filled the open space. One night during church, my parents were singing and my dad was playing. I think a youth group from our sponsor church in Daytona  Beach, FL was visiting. I was eight, standing in a row maybe 20 feet from the stage, singing my heart out. I don't remember the song. I don't remember much at all about the night. But I cried. I worshiped and I cried. I cried my eyes out and actually had a physical experience with the love and truth and reality of God.

I cried.

That's why worship is my medicine, my stress reliever, my entertainment. Worship engages the deepest part of my heart and soul and pulls me into God's perfect love. Putting my attention on God is the biggest joy in my life. The other morning I was thinking about whoever God has in mind for me to spend the rest of my life with. I was thinking about how important worship is to me; how much I love to sing and write songs. I thought about this unknown man I'm going to marry some day and I knew with everything I am that he is going to be a worshiper too. I know he is going to be so passionate about music and praising God. I thought about being able to share the most beautiful thing (worship) with someone I love. I cried.

I don't know why I wanted to write about this. I've just been thinking a lot about it so I figured it belonged here, on this blog.

In case you're wondering - here is a snapshot of my most-listened-to playlist: Return to Your Rest
Tear Down the Walls Live - Hillsong United (Across the Earth: Tear Down the Walls
Everything to Me - Emily Cole
I Breathe You In, God - Brian & Katie Torwalt
For the Cross and Chasing You - Jenn Johnson
Instruments of Your Peace - Lionel Peterson
God is Love - Suzy Yaraei
Waiting Here for You - Martin Smith
Jesus Paid it All - Sovereign Grace Music
Nothing But the Blood - Matt Redman
Alpha & Omega - Israel Houghton & New Breed
Refiner's Fire - Brian Doerksen
Christ is Enough - Hillsong Live (Glorious Ruins)
Man of Sorrows - Hillsong Live (Glorious Ruins)
Love Goes On - Hillsong Live (Y&F)

Oh and this makes me cry and also this.
That is all. :)