Women are not helpless. Women are strong. Women are smart, sensitive, calculating, driven and observant. We are feminine, beautiful and confident. The modern feminist movement makes me sick sometimes. Burn your bras ladies! Don't shave your legs! Wear pantsuits to work and cut that long hair! Seriously? Have we diminished the importance of women's equality to walking, talking, dressing like a man and playing hardball with the big boys? Why do we want to be equal anyway? I don't want to be treated like a man. I don't want to be compared to one either. I certainly don't want to be a man.
In trying to "equalize" men and women, the feminist movement has done a disservice to us girls. It's important to define this word "equality" before I proceed. The equality I see being pursued by modern feminism - the one I take issue with - is synonymous with sameness. The equality being pushed on woman is that we need to be the same as men. We need to become like men in order to be "equal". This is a false equality.
An example of the equality I want with men is the type of equality we achieved in gaining the right to vote. The Women's Suffrage movement was about giving equal voice to men and women and enabling the thoughts and minds of women to be expressed in the public square for the good of society as a whole. That equality was one of value. Women were valued in the same way as men but not for the same reasons. Perhaps a fun song can help illustrate this more clearly.
Remember the stylish Mrs. Banks in Mary Poppins? She comes into her house singing that catchy line, "Cast off the shackles of yesterday and shoulder to shoulder into the fray. Our daughters' daughters will adore us and they'll sing in grateful chorus, 'Well done! Sister Suffragette'." It's a beautiful rallying cry for political equality and equal rights with men. But they didn't want to be seen as men. They didn't want to be equal with or treated like men. They wanted to be appreciated and valued just as much as men but for being women. That's right - they wanted to be valued as women. This is the equality I desire and the kind I'm talking about in this post.
I'm not saying we've finished the "fight" or that we have arrived at equality. I'm trying to change the conversation and the equation. Women all over the world are abused, mistreated, degraded and not valued. I am very passionate about women's rights in the Middle East. It is one of my life goals to have a school for girls in Iraq. I will strive to provide girls with every opportunity I had growing up to learn, to succeed, to dream and to achieve. But I won't teach my girls to be boys.
Now, I'm all about being strong and athletic and running with the boys. I lift heavy things in the gym. I do handstand pushups. I bench press. But I also ask for help. I thank the guy who helps me move 45lb plates off the bar. I thank the guy who holds the door open for me and I appreciate the guy who compliments my legs. I don't get offended when a man tells me I am beautiful. I don't feel helpless when a man lifts my bag into the overhead bin. I want to be respected and taken care of. I want to be valued and protected.
I have to bring scripture into this because I believe God created men and women to be different. I think we are all familiar with the idea of the Proverbs 31 woman but I'd like to bullet point some of the qualities of this powerhouse:
- She is trustworthy, forgiving and generous
- She's a good shopper and knows how to spend money wisely (SCRIPTURAL!!)
- She is organized, early to rise and a good investor
- She plants a garden and knows how to take care of land (hat tip to Martha Stewart)
- She senses the worth of her work
- She’s skilled in the crafts of home and hearth, diligent in homemaking (Etsy is in the Bible!)
- She’s quick to assist anyone in need, reaches out to help the poor
- She makes her own clothing, and dresses in colorful linens and silks
- Her clothes are well-made and elegant, and she always faces tomorrow with a smile
- When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say, and she always says it kindly
- She keeps an eye on everyone in her household, and keeps them all busy and productive
- Her children respect and bless her; her husband joins in with words of praise: “Many women have done wonderful things, but you’ve outclassed them all!”
I want these things to be said about me. I'm reminded of a great scene in My Big Fat Greek Wedding where the main character has an argument with her father about the direction her life is heading. After her father storms out of the room Toula Portokalos looks at her mom with tears in her eyes and says, "Mom, dad is so stubborn, what he says goes. The man is the head of the house." Brushing the hair off Toula's face, Maria tells her daughter, "Let me tell you something Toula, the man is the head but the woman is the neck and she can turn the head any way she wants."
Ladies, I say we step back into our skirt suits, strap on our red soled heels, touch up our lipstick and turn some heads.
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